2023 Wrap Up

When you ask (as many people do as we're entering a new year) how my year was, or what was my favorite part about this past year, or if I did what I wanted to do in 2023, I'd rather just show you what my year felt like, sounded like, looked like. Which is why I like making these end-of-the-year videos. I can show you and you get it for the most part.

But there are a LOT of things that don't make it in these yearly recap videos and that's what I want to touch on here.

First of all, I simply cannot fit everything in a 3-minute video. There are so many incredible moments I can't fit in the story I'm trying to tell, or I simply didn't catch them on camera. Sometimes a moment is too precious to ruin by whipping out my phone and pressing "record".

Then there are the things that I purposefully don't record. I don't need to see the preparation for hard conversations with managers, the stress around finances, the weekend I was so sad and sick I barely changed out of my pajamas. I personally don't want to have evidence of the nights I spent crying myself to sleep - Lord knows I'm an ugly crier, and knowing these nights happened is enough.

Lastly, there are the things I don't think I can obviously convey. How do I show the internal confliction of feeling lost but also completely fine at the same time? How do I capture realizations I've had relating to family and friendship, body image, capability, and the fact that I don't really know what I want to do next? How can I show change and growth?

There really is no way to get everything in. At least not in one video.

In preparation for this post, I watched the videos I made for 2020, 2021, and 2022. I remember every single significant thing (good and bad) from each of those years. And, even without some of those things explicitly shown in those videos, watching them back-to-back to back is how I can see and know I've changed and grown and overcome challenges and am still squeezing every last drop of joy out of the life I'm making for myself.

These videos are a collection of the struggles and successes that each year brought and a reminder of how, each year, they seem bigger, scarier, and more exciting - more "worth it" - than the previous year. They're a salute to how far I've come and the endless possibilities that await.

This year was a MAJOR toughie. There was also so much good! I'm constantly relearning how to accept the hard and the good at the same time. But every time we get to this point in the year, I see how all the pieces fell into place. Even during my roughest patches, I was right where I was supposed to be.

Life is not going to get any easier, but it is going to get more fun. And I'm looking forward to it. 🤍